Christmas Carolling
by Sunscorched
Summary: Music is the food of love...


Title: Christmas Carolling

Author: Me

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: PG

Category: Humour/Romance

Summary: Music is the food of love.

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: This place, my place, anyplace else, just ask :-)

Notes: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"Here ya go, dude!" Ollie shoved a handful of money and half empty packet of chewing gum at the cab driver. "So you think she'll appreciate my gesture?"

The driver gave a slow nod while wishing the man would hurry up and get out of his cab. "She won't be able to resist you..."

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't wanna make a jackass of myself in front of the woman I love..."

The driver reached over the billionaire and opened the passenger door himself. "You won't make a jackass of yourself." A crazy moron who should be locked up, yes, but not a jackass.

Ollie's face softened as images of Chloe appeared before his very eyes. He reached out to stroke it. "Hmm... She's pretty, ya know? All tiny blonde and pretty... All the guys think so." Drunken giggle. "They're jealous of me."

"And pitying Chloe," the driver mumbled.

He nodded solemnly. "I pity her too, ya know? Cos like she's so pretty and smart and hmmm..."

"I can see why she needs to be pitied."

Ollie blinked away the fog and looked at the driver. "Huh?"

This job just didn't pay enough. "Look, you're here at her apartment and you're talking to me?"

"You're a married man, you understand what it's like to have a good woman. Unless you have a good man? Or wo-man?"

The driver reached for his packet of Excedrin and dry-swallowed two. "Please go see her?"

Ollie placed his free hand on the man's shoulder and gripped. "You're a good man, man. You wanna job as a chauff... Chaff... Chief... Driver, there's one going at Queen Industrious."

"I like my cab just fine. Really."

"Are you sure? Cos I can put in a good word with the head huncher," drunken giggle. "Which is funny cos I am the head huncher. I like you, man. I mean really like you. You'd make a good chauvinistic."

_Get out, get out, get out, get out_. The driver forced a smile. "Thank you..."

"And that is why I like you," Ollie leaned in close and the driver nearly passed out from the fumes. "Think this'll make me have a wife?"

"And two point four kids. Please go see Chloe."

Ollie nodded again. "You give great advice, dude. You should consider being my chaffer."

"I'll get back to you on that one. Bye," and pushed the drunken moron out of his car, before slamming the door shut and speeding off. If he was lucky, he'd get pulled over and spend the night locked safely in a cell.

"Aw," Ollie sat up on the snowy ground and stared at the empty space. "I liked him."

He scratched his head in thought.

What was he going to do again?

Oh yeah!

Prove his love, once and for all.

He took a good swallow of his whisky for dutch courage and made his way to outside the Talon.

"Hmm... Whassher favourite song again?"

The nice man in the car said he should go with rhymy stuff.

But Blaze of Chloe wasn't very romantic, was it? Not at Christmas.

No matter how much he'd like to go down in a blaze of Chloe, he figured she wouldn't appreciate the sentiment as much as... "Sandy!"

He stared up at the Talon and wondered when they built a second one. "Building is programs, Ollie. Good advice."

More whisky went in when he opened his mouth, swallow, and open mouth again. This time, something came out of of the open mouth. "Oh Sandy... Wait, your name's not Sandy. Chloe. Your name is Chloe... Chloe... Hmm... Pretty Chloe..."

"Get it together, Queen... Hmmm... Queen Chloe... Pretty in a tiara and all princess Leia..."

Ollie cleared his throat and sang with all his heart. "Oh Chloe, you came and you shaved without taking, and I need you today... Night! It's dark and 3 am, so I can't need you today... And I need you tonight, oh Chloe... My looovvvveeee, my darrrllinnn... I hunger for your... Whassat line?"

He held up his whisky. "Bet you know, dontcha?" Shake, shake, shake. "Cos you know everything. You even know how to talk."

He frowned. "Or was that AC pretending to be you?"

He shook his head and glared at the bottle. "This is all your fault, ya know? Course you know. You know everything cos you... You're... Hmm... Chloe. Pretty princess Chloe with the tiara and slave girl."

"I'm not tryinga be rude or anything, buddy, but I gotta woo her. Maybe we can talk later and get the nice man in the car to come be my cheffener?"

Ollie beamed at the two Talons. "I'm wooing! Bart said I had too."

He cleared his throat and began again. "I love you baybeh... Dont break my heart I mean maybeh... Cos I love you baybeh... And that's all I know, which totally sucks cos it's very romancey."

There was an odd sound coming from a few feet away and it had to be Chloe saying how wonderful he was for doing this just for her.

Huh.

Last he knew, Chloe didn't have stubble on her face and short messy red hair.

"Knock it off, you jackass! I just got my kid to sleep!"

"I'm not a jackass!" Ollie hollered back just as angrily. "The man in the car said so."

"Yeah? The man in the car probably knew you were high! Jackass!"

"I'm tryinga tell the woman I love that I love her this much," arms opened wide. "And anyway, you're the jackass... You jackass! See what I did there?"

"I see a jackass who's gonna get dumped is what I see! Now can it, you dillweed!"

Ollie opened his mouth to reply, but clamped it tight shut. The nice man in the car said he wasn't a jackass, but nothing about him not being a dillweed.

Was he a dillweed?

He should ask Chloe.

"Chloe, am I dillweed? Would you love me if I was dillweed?"

"Did you not hear me tell you to can it?"

Another face that wasn't Chloe's came into view. "George, what's going? What's that racket from outside?"

"It's some idiot trying to scare the cats. Go back to bed, Betty. I'll get rid of the jackass."

Ollie shook his bottle at the man. "You will not get rid of me and I've told you I'm not a jackass! You're the jackass!"

"Right now, you're both jackasses! George, just close the window and come back to bed."

"She told you! Ha!"

"And now I'm telling you that if my daughter wakes up, you're getting her back to sleep. Now shut up and use your damn phone!"

Ollie blinked and the window was closed and the faces were gone. "Wow... Gone. Just like magic..."

"Zatannee? You here?"

Huh.

Maybe the window closing wasn't magic after all.

What was it the angry lady told him to do?

That was it!

"Use my phone!" Ollie brightly stated and fumbled around his pocket.

He pressed in a number and waited for the answer. Finally, he thought, Chloe. "Cos baybeh, I'm your maaannnnn..."

"_Who is this_?"

"S'Ollie, baybeh and I love my Chloe with her slave girl and tiara!"

"_That noise is you? I thought one of the barn cats was dying_."

Ollie frowned. "Why do you sound like Clark?"

"_Because it is Clark, you dumbass! It's three in the damn morning_!"

Ollie frowned harder. "Why are you answering Chloe's phone at three am?"

"_Goodnight, Oliver_."

Why'd he hang up?

Open, drink, swallow, top back on.

Oh! He had a song for her!

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight... WHEEEE OOOHHHH WHEEEE... Hush, my darlin, sleep my darlin..."

He paused for thought. "Are you asleep? I never thought of that..."

Shrug. "Why would you be asleep? It's only three am."

Whoa!

Where did that hand come from?

"Chloe!" Ollie beamed and went to give her a cuddle, but she disappeared.

Oh, there she was!

Was it Chloe?

The voice was high pitched and spoke really fast and made his head hurt.

He could only make out a couple of words.

Words like "Oh my God!" and "Are you insane?" and "I have to live here!"

Wow, it was so much warmer in... Where was he again?

That high pitched shriek continued and he didn't feel so good.

"Don't you DARE!" Shriek, shriek, shriek.

Where'd his whisky go?

"Steps are changerous, Chloe. I should carry you so you don't fall over."

"CHANGEROUS? I'll show you changerous if you don't..." Shriek, shriek, shriek.

"Don't shriek so loud..." Ollie held his head.

"SHRIEK? You haven't HEARD me shriek!"

Oomf!

"Hmm... Beds are comfy... Hmm... Chloe in a bed with the slave and pretty shiny... Hmm..."

"I'll give you pretty shiny eyes! I cannot believe you!" Shriek, shriek, shriek. "I have neighbors!" Shriek. "Do you know what they'll think of me?" Shriek.

"I think of you all the time and you're so... Hmm..." Why weren't his eyes opening?

"Oh, don't you dare, Oliver Queen! I swear don't you dare go to sleep now!"

Sleep was good.

Where was that ringing noise coming from?

And since when did Chloe buy a revolving bed?

Who was that growling?

"One bucket coming up..."

"You so better love me after this, you jerk!"

Ollie smiled sleepily. "I knew I wasn't a dillweed..."


End file.
